Is anybody actually working on your relationship or is it just left to flop about in the wind, taking a back seat to life? Take control today and massively increase the special sauce in your relationship, feel happier and sexier with our guide to spicing up your love life in 31 days.
Before embarking on this journey, you have to remember that you are the one starting it, which means you can’t have massive expectations from all of the actions you take below. I know that is the purpose of spicing up your love life, but nothing sours a relationship faster than someone moping about being all under-appreciated.
You should carry out the actions as if you expect nothing in return and don’t be too disappointed if you are met with a half-hearted response. Keep trying every month – something will change!
Start small – every week
I love you. Tell your partner that you love them every day, building up to three times a day by the end of the first week. Send them a text during the day – saucy or affectionate – just let them know you are thinking about them. Leave a love note in their bag or under their pillow. See if that gets you some reciprocal love.
Kiss Kiss. Ramp up the affection out of the bedroom – a kiss before you go to work, one when you get home and as much incidental cuddling, hand touching, walking hand-in-hand as you can remember to fit in. Do this daily and it will soon become part of your routine.
Treat time. Make or buy their favourite treat food (sounds a bit like a dog doesn’t it?!). Does your partner have a favourite chocolate mud cake from a certain cafe? Surprise them with their favourite treat in the first week.
Rinse and repeat – do these actions each week.
Get to know each other again – weeks 2 & 3
One of the hardest parts of keeping your relationship healthy is spending alone time with each other. Daily routines like work, children, exercise etc get in the way and somehow we never manage to block off time for just us. In this day of 1 in 3 couples getting divorced, it has never been more important to block out regular couples time.
Bring back date night. You should aim to do this at once a week. It doesn’t have to be going out, it could be as simple as Saturday night dinner together, a bottle of wine and a DVD (if you have rug rats, let this all happen once they’ve gone to bed, or get them to have a sleep over at someone else’s house).
Walkies. Go for a romantic stroll together at least once a week. Either after dinner one night or during the weekend, walk out your front door together and just walk for at least 30 mins. If you live near the beach then go there. Hold hands or walk arm in arm and just talk about whatever comes to mind, or don’t talk at all.
And finally, time for some Hanky Panky – tada! week 4
Ok, so hopefully you’ve been building the anticipation, you can feel some sizzle in your relationship, now it’s time to cement this all in a magnificent night of passion.
Remember when you started dating how you’d spend hours making love? Well, maybe there isn’t the stamina (or time) for that any more, but you have some advantages. You know exactly what your partner likes and hopefully you can deliver…but not so fast…First you need to set the mood.
Aim for big, crescendo hanky panky at about the forth week in. Schedule it in for your date night and start planning. Let your partner know there is a big, super special surprise coming so you aren’t the only one salivating in anticipation.
Sexy food. Cook either their favourite meal or a cliched romantic meal. Set the scene – candles, flowers, boot everyone else out of the house (including the cats and dogs!). Checkout our Pinterest sexy food board for inspirational food and scenes.
Rub, rub. After dinner, start with some massage oil and give your partner an all over body massage. Fill your room with candles, soft lighting and perhaps some music and get ready to give a romantic massage. Not sure how? Read this wiki article for instructions and pictures.
Sexy time. This is a massage with a happy ending, so hopefully you are both sufficiently aroused and naked. It’s giving time. Perform your partners favourite sexual pleasure, but don’t go all the way. You want to come together, so keep them an inch from the edge and drive them crazy. Right, now it’s time to put all of the pieces together and make love like you did when you first met. Need help climaxing? Read this how to orgasm during sex article for ideas.
Spice up your sex life with some new positions, games like adding a blindfold or restraints, or sex toys, get inspiration from our sex toy guide for couples, or just jump right in with some adult toys.
Most importantly don’t stop! If you keep making an effort with these actions each month, you will have a healthier relationship and a better sex life, you could have super special hanky panky every night of the week (maybe not with full smorgasbord of sexy food and a massage), but more fulfilling sex is certainly one of the most important ways to keep your relationship healthy!